The Author
Charlie is a female-to-neutrois trans* student, studying computer science and web development. at a local community college, wondering how to come out to everyone off-line, what pronoun to go by, and how to catch a nice girl. More here.
charliecopley.com
Someone said I should write for a blog…was that a good idea?
“Not male nor female, just transexual.”
Posted by on May 24, 2013
Source: “It’s Pronounced Metrosexual“
This cat needs to learn the real definition of “lezbro”.
Posted by on May 19, 2013
Do a websearch of the term of “lezbro” on the big three search engines Google, Yahoo!, and Bing. What do you see? “Gaybro” somehow means a gay guy who’s into “traditional” guy stuff, like sports. However, “lezbro” is a false cognitive, it does not share a similar etymology or definition. A “lezbro”, by definition, is one of several terms that is the lesbian equivalent of the well-known “fag hag”, and not a lesbian or trans* who engages in frat boy behavior:
[A]s a queer woman, I see that this form of masculine privilege doesn’t just operate in the gay community. We too have our own “lezbros,” [...] There’s a particular New York lesbian party that might be the natural habitat for the lezbro. The party features minimally clothed, hyperfeminine go-go dancers performing routines as a sea of women fist-pump and drool and throw dollar bills. There, many lesbians appropriate fratty personas, using pickup lines that might have originated in the mouths of men catcalling women on the street. Party culture itself shouldn’t be conflated with misogyny, yet I find it impossible not to call this display objectification, even though it’s at the hands of other women.
Reading the article, and from what I know from my friends, regardless of gender or sexuality, one thing is universal: we all objectify whom we’re to at one level or another. Gay men objectify one another. Lesbians sexualize each other, even if butch on butch or the lipstick variety (besides the more known butch-femme variety). We all know of men who objectify women. And straight women objectify men, too! I am as guilty of objectifying women as any other gynephile. I have no pride, nor do I have shame. People who dress in tight, revealing clothes to attract attention need to realize they will get it. However, these people need to realize that they can’t call it from who they’re trying attract as desired yet if from someone else as harrassment.
However, to all the straight ladies and femmes out there who deride frat boy behavior: you guys are just as guilty, even worse if I throw in with cries of hypocrisy. “Soft men” or another femme does not a more loyal partner make. And don’t deride how we butches and trans* have some form of male privilege. You femmes don’t get bashed for not “conforming” to your gender, and you femmes can at least hide your orientation. (Okay, out in the boondocks of farming country, because so many women dress masculine to better work in the fields, the cultural and sexual connotations do not stick as much.)
We all need to curtail our objectifying of others. I also wish the author would seriously edit the article, and use a different term than “lezbro” (maybe “frat boi“)?…and not use Kade, the victim, as a resource.
“Butch, Please!” is pathetic and ridiculous.
Posted by on May 15, 2013
I agree with the author of Masculine of Center on the author Kade (aka Kate), who writes about being butch on Autostraddle.
[I] understand that the world is a harsh place for a masculine-of-center person, but it isn’t without certain privileges, and those you fail to acknowledge. [H]as it crossed your mind[,] that there are those who would love to experience infrequent, internet-only harassment[,] as opposed to the daily physical and verbal affronts suffered by many femmes [I] know?
Kade is fucking pathetic, as she presents herself as a genderqueer who always pictures herself as a frequent victim of both sexism and homophobia. Yes, we suffer (often much of the same discrimination as “effeminate” gays) because we break gender stereotypes, sexual norms, and other established traditions. Rather than bitch and complain, or go misandrically feminist and over-analyze, embrace what you are, and fight back. While transmen have the male-privilege over us, we still have a number of privileges over femmes!
As a woman with a masculine-of-center presentation and identity herself, I don’t see myself as a victim or someone who constantly laments about how our culture insists on gender and sex identity. Several friends and co-workers have voiced how they envy that I don’t need to or put up with a number of issues most women do, and think I have positive self-image:
- I dress for myself, and not to attract male (or female, in my case) attention. I dress as the occasion dictates, but with traditionally male garb: suits for formal occasions; baggy jeans and fitted tees; no bras or “panties”. I dress with what fits my body: I am stout, have broad shoulders, lack any real breasts or curves, and have a strong jaw. People often tell me I pull off the male wardrobe nicely.
- My short hair: most women wish they had the guts to pull off shaving it short. Yes, it’s easier to maintain. However, you have to buzz it no less often than every 3-4 weeks to maintain it, especially if your hair is thick and grows fast, like mine. (Yes, I do my hair, too.)
- I’m low maintenance no make-up, no hair coloring or upkeep, no jewelry or accessories with my clothes (other than my crucifix, that I keep under my shirt), no purse, no braziers, no need to spend an hour every day in the bathroom getting ready for the day ahead.
- Love is only a chapter of my life, not what I constantly think about. I am happy being single (though from time to time I still daydream—hey, I’m still human!)
- Men don’t objectify me and can relate to me. (Or if they go homophobic or sexist on me I am able to confront and handle them because of my large frame, powerful muscles, and my weight.}
Women I know, both femmes and straights, have to put up with a lot of shit simply because they are women. Men stare. Men howl. Men think they are less capable. Men objectify. Men don’t take them as seriously. If men know they like women (as gays or bis), they go homophobic and-or overstep their boundaries even further and try to them what they are “missing out on”.
Yes, despite all the laws and gains in place that protect me as an androgynous, cross-dressing gay woman, I know often they will dismiss me over because of homophobia, sexism, genderism, and other forms of heteronormativity. I will be heading into a field dominated heavily still by men (STEM fields as a computer programmer, web developer, and network specialist), and unless I play the field and the traditional frat culture, I could also be passed on for that. However, I have a progressive male POV on many things, and often align myself with men culturally, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually.
Kade, stop sulking. You make us look bad with how you write. We are better off than our femme and straight female counterparts culturally, emotionally, vocationally. It’s never been a better time to be masculine-of-center.
With an identity like mine, how do you address me?
Posted by on May 1, 2013
Yes, another video by Allison (er, now West). My obsession of the month.
When I am dealing with customers at work, the ones who are familiar with me address in me terms as a woman. They call me “miss”/”ma’am”, use “her” and “she”, and use female forms of adjectives and nouns. Those unacquainted with me more often than not address me as “sir” and use masculine forms of nouns and adjectives when interacting with me.
Here’s the thing. When they realize I am biologically female, or if the kids ask what my sex or gender is, I honestly don’t care. As one who is otherwise stubborn with strong opinions here and there, my gender identity and self is more fluid and relaxed. I never correct people, because I fear I’d embarrass them and leave a bad impression on them. Despite my biology, I go out of my way to dress and groom myself in a masculine fashion. I don’t like being identified as “miss” or “ma’am”, but being addressed as “sir” is just as off-putting. I cringe whenever kids call me something like “Miss Charlie” or “Mr. Copley”. I just would rather stay away from them when I am in non-professional settings. In times of formality, however, what am I to do? While many Internet neologisms I shun, I do like “Mx. Charlie Copley” when addressing me, or in person pronounced as “/mix/ Charlie” or “/misk/ Charlie”.
It’s gender-neutral, but as with everything, it validates my masculine nature and identity, without putting down the fact I am still physically a woman. I can’t help that I like anything neutral but still masculine-of-center somehow, because that is how I see myself for now. As I continue my quest of identity and gender, yes I may flip-flop, I will run around in circles. That is just how I am for now.
