De-transitioning is considered a big “no-no” within the transgender cult, when discussing topics related to the community. They are afraid if it’s discussed, then their enemies would use it to deny their ability to transition from their natal gender to the third gender. I can understand this, but I think that we need to be open to the fact it still happens, especially as more people force the trans label on gender-variant kids.
Not everyone will live happily transitioning or undergoing sex change therapy. There are many reasons people de-transition: financial or social barriers, sex change therapy increases instead of decreases gender dysphoria, the inability to cope as a member of the opposite sex or as a member of a sexual minority.
Some people think there are benefits as living as a member of another sex or gender, without considering the costs that group often must endure; in the past therapists would make sure candidates for sex change therapy weren’t disillusioned with such thinking. Unfortunately, many practices use “informed consent” instead, allowing these transgenders to try to transition without thinking about the legal and social costs, as the forms usually only cover the medical, and sometimes psychological, consequences.
Some people are cross-dressers and want to take their fetish to the next level, and try to use the guise of transgenderism and use any benefits offered by their healthcare plan to further their fetishism. Another reason why “informed consent” isn’t the best option and we need to bring back the “gatekeeper” system.
Without proper medical supervision, many people who thought they wanted to transition regret it and end up de-transitioning. Parents who forced the transgender agenda upon their kids have teenagers and adults maturing and regretting their parents blindly led them down a path that wasn’t meant for them. These rushes to “transition” people have now skyrocketed rates of depression, anxiety, and de-transitioning in general, and opponents of allowing transitioning and sex changes are using this fuel to further push their ideas that transgenderism is little more than severe mental illness.
People, especially transgenders, need to realize that just because someone doesn’t “fully” transition, doesn’t mean they are in de-transition. Sometimes we can only get certain operations done, and can’t obtain others. Many transgender and transsexual men only ever get mastectomies and hysterectomies, because by law all insurance companies have to cover these as a part of “women’s” healthcare coverage. They may not get chest masculinization, and they may not get phallic constructive surgeries. These two principle surgeries are enough for FtM individuals, and they live quite happily on the masculine end of the spectrum going forward. Does that mean they have somehow de-transitioned, or aren’t as “trans” as others who do undergo everything else?
See how slippery this discussion can often go?
On and off over the last six years since I came out and undergone my own sex change, sometimes I wondered about de-transitioning. No, not going back to my natal female sex, but by finding myself somewhere outside the scope of the sex and gender spectrums. For about a year before coming out, I did live my life online and in private as “agender”, as in I did not identify as man, woman, or genderqueer/non-binary. (Many who are agender will explain that just because they do not live as a specific sex or gender, doesn’t mean they should be classified as “non-binary”.) I didn’t consider myself a woman (though sometimes used the words “butch” or “dyke” to describe myself), but didn’t exactly consider myself as “trans” either. I did want to heal my body—to be rid of my chest and reproductive organs, and to be at least on a small amount of testosterone as opposed to remain on estrogen—but did that exactly make me “trans”?
Even today, I often don’t adhere to gender roles—most cissexuals aren’t as rigid as the transgender cult make them out to be. I have no qualms entering men’s-only spaces (e.g. the bathroom or changing/locker rooms); I have no problem when people address me as a man. I am happy to live with a body devoid of gynecological organs, though I am also quite content with the fact I don’t have a (neo-)penis. (About that in a future post.) Still, sometimes I bond much better with my butch siblings than other men, because our experience is more relatable.
With certain exceptions in terms of health or the bedroom, I didn’t see the reasons why our world has been so sex-segregated since time immemorial. That has changed a bit since taking testosterone injections; I now see why men and women are often different. I have had cissexual women voice to me their concerns about life and safety out in public, as I never had their experience, but it allows me to see why we need it for femme women. Men have given me their reasons why they want men-only spaces, and sometimes time away from their female counterparts.
Presentation and variance exist on all ends of the spectrum. We have butch women; we have femme men. We have people who live without identifying as anything, and people who are comfortably androgynous. I am a man, both psychologically and physically, yet I still retain a female body, with a male presentation. The difference between being butch and being male still boils down to which sex you identify at day’s end.
Transitioning without medical supervision has allowed for confusion to prop up, when there used to be none. Since the bulk of transgender studies has focused more on those assigned male at birth instead of also including those assigned female at birth, my masculine-of-center siblings have both more leeway, yet also face more confusion, when it comes to changing their sex or identity. I am glad I have chosen to undergo counseling before changing sexes, because it has saved me from making bad choices amid all the confusion I had about myself.
I am a man. I have made too many investments and sacrifices to de-transition, be “transgender”, be “agender”, or live as anything other than a man. I work as a man in a setting that’s more conservative in nature, though it understands when someone changes sex and let’s us live and work accordingly as one (basically, if you can do the job, they don’t care how we live). It’s nice to go out and not deal with constantly correcting people on how to address or to refer to me. It’s great living stealthily if I sense being open may be a danger to me. I no longer have to argue constantly over how to dress up for special occasions. Being transsexual was easier than dealing with all the confusion transgenderism modernly incurs. Being a man has brought me the one thing I’ve wanted since puberty—the ability to me. And nothing can take that away. 👍