De-transitioning. Or, reversing a sex change.

De-transitioning is considered a big “no-no” within the transgender cult, when discussing topics related to the community. They are afraid if it’s discussed, then their enemies would use it to deny their ability to transition from their natal gender to the third gender. I can understand this, but I think that we need to be open to the fact it still happens, especially as more people force the trans label on gender-variant kids.

Not everyone will live happily transitioning or undergoing sex change therapy. There are many reasons people de-transition: financial or social barriers, sex change therapy increases instead of decreases gender dysphoria, the inability to cope as a member of the opposite sex or as a member of a sexual minority.

With any kind of sex change or gender transition, I highly recommend investing in seeing a councilor, instead of “informed consent”. It will cost more and delay the treatments you seek, but it will spare you tons of confusion, and possibly some serious mishaps if you find that medically transitioning isn’t for you.

Some people think there are benefits as living as a member of another sex or gender, without considering the costs that group often must endure; in the past therapists would make sure candidates for sex change therapy weren’t disillusioned with such thinking. Unfortunately, many practices use “informed consent” instead, allowing these transgenders to try to transition without thinking about the legal and social costs, as the forms usually only cover the medical, and sometimes psychological, consequences.

Some people are cross-dressers and want to take their fetish to the next level, and try to use the guise of transgenderism and use any benefits offered by their healthcare plan to further their fetishism. Another reason why “informed consent” isn’t the best option and we need to bring back the “gatekeeper” system.

Without proper medical supervision, many people who thought they wanted to transition regret it and end up de-transitioning. Parents who forced the transgender agenda upon their kids have teenagers and adults maturing and regretting their parents blindly led them down a path that wasn’t meant for them. These rushes to “transition” people have now skyrocketed rates of depression, anxiety, and de-transitioning in general, and opponents of allowing transitioning and sex changes are using this fuel to further push their ideas that transgenderism is little more than severe mental illness.

People, especially transgenders, need to realize that just because someone doesn’t “fully” transition, doesn’t mean they are in de-transition. Sometimes we can only get certain operations done, and can’t obtain others. Many transgender and transsexual men only ever get mastectomies and hysterectomies, because by law all insurance companies have to cover these as a part of “women’s” healthcare coverage. They may not get chest masculinization, and they may not get phallic constructive surgeries. These two principle surgeries are enough for FtM individuals, and they live quite happily on the masculine end of the spectrum going forward. Does that mean they have somehow de-transitioned, or aren’t as “trans” as others who do undergo everything else?

See how slippery this discussion can often go?

Could I ever see myself going back to living as a “hella stone butch” lesbian? Not really. The idea of being in women’s-only spaces still distresses me to this day. The idea of taking estrogen replacement therapy (my hysterectomy included removing my ovaries, so I can’t produce estrogen) also estranges me.
My sexuality aside, how I identify will always be masculine-of-center, if not far on the male or masculine side of identity.

On and off over the last six years since I came out and undergone my own sex change, sometimes I wondered about de-transitioning. No, not going back to my natal female sex, but by finding myself somewhere outside the scope of the sex and gender spectrums. For about a year before coming out, I did live my life online and in private as “agender”, as in I did not identify as man, woman, or genderqueer/non-binary. (Many who are agender will explain that just because they do not live as a specific sex or gender, doesn’t mean they should be classified as “non-binary”.) I didn’t consider myself a woman (though sometimes used the words “butch” or “dyke” to describe myself), but didn’t exactly consider myself as “trans” either. I did want to heal my body—to be rid of my chest and reproductive organs, and to be at least on a small amount of testosterone as opposed to remain on estrogen—but did that exactly make me “trans”?

Even today, I often don’t adhere to gender roles—most cissexuals aren’t as rigid as the transgender cult make them out to be. I have no qualms entering men’s-only spaces (e.g. the bathroom or changing/locker rooms); I have no problem when people address me as a man. I am happy to live with a body devoid of gynecological organs, though I am also quite content with the fact I don’t have a (neo-)penis. (About that in a future post.) Still, sometimes I bond much better with my butch siblings than other men, because our experience is more relatable.

With certain exceptions in terms of health or the bedroom, I didn’t see the reasons why our world has been so sex-segregated since time immemorial. That has changed a bit since taking testosterone injections; I now see why men and women are often different. I have had cissexual women voice to me their concerns about life and safety out in public, as I never had their experience, but it allows me to see why we need it for femme women. Men have given me their reasons why they want men-only spaces, and sometimes time away from their female counterparts.

Presentation and variance exist on all ends of the spectrum. We have butch women; we have femme men. We have people who live without identifying as anything, and people who are comfortably androgynous. I am a man, both psychologically and physically, yet I still retain a female body, with a male presentation. The difference between being butch and being male still boils down to which sex you identify at day’s end.

Transitioning without medical supervision has allowed for confusion to prop up, when there used to be none. Since the bulk of transgender studies has focused more on those assigned male at birth instead of also including those assigned female at birth, my masculine-of-center siblings have both more leeway, yet also face more confusion, when it comes to changing their sex or identity. I am glad I have chosen to undergo counseling before changing sexes, because it has saved me from making bad choices amid all the confusion I had about myself.

I am a man. I have made too many investments and sacrifices to de-transition, be “transgender”, be “agender”, or live as anything other than a man. I work as a man in a setting that’s more conservative in nature, though it understands when someone changes sex and let’s us live and work accordingly as one (basically, if you can do the job, they don’t care how we live). It’s nice to go out and not deal with constantly correcting people on how to address or to refer to me. It’s great living stealthily if I sense being open may be a danger to me. I no longer have to argue constantly over how to dress up for special occasions. Being transsexual was easier than dealing with all the confusion transgenderism modernly incurs. Being a man has brought me the one thing I’ve wanted since puberty—the ability to me. And nothing can take that away. 👍

Author: Charlie

I live my life trying to be your everyday guy. Drink—maybe too much?—coffee. Watch hockey. Work to pay the bills. The truth is, there’s one major aspect of me that separates me from most men: I was born with a female body. I am three years post-op, and have never been happier with both my body and my life, or quality of life.

One thought

  1. I love reading that! I am part of a Transgender Group on FB (Yeah, I love Social Media), and this topic often comes up and it because of some of the points you mentioned. Primarily lack of counseling and informed consent. I think many people start transitioning, but don’t really think about the social aspect of it. Transitioning from Male to Female for me really wasn’t that much of a problem because I “knew” from elementary school. It just took years for me to realize it and start (I guess). I am definitely MUCH happier now because I am much more invited into the “women-spaces” you mentioned. I enjoy the gossiping, sharing make-up tips, yadda yadda yadda. I don’t feel as lonely as I once did because women talk to me a lot more than they did when I was presenting as a male. Waking up in the morning and seeing my face becoming much more feminine just feels me with so much euphoria. But… that is just me. People really do need to considered ALL aspects before deciding if they want to commit to irreversible decisions (surgeries, HRT, etc). However, I do like what you stated: there are those who start and then realize it wasn’t for them. I personally try to be supportive and not shame them for changing their mind. Thanks for that awesome post.


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